College Drop Off and the Big Goodbye
/By Melissa Starrett
I recently tuned into an NPR segment featuring Lisa Heffernan, the founder of Grown & Flown. The discussion focused on the challenges parents face as their children leave home for their first year of college.
Like many of you, over the past couple of weeks, my social media feed has been flooded with photos and videos of college drop-offs. I’ve seen impeccably decorated dorm rooms (none of which include the milk crates that furnished my college room in the late ’80s), along with pictures of excited new roommates and, of course, the inevitable goodbye hug. However, behind those smiles and captured moments, there are parents filled with anticipation, excitement and anxiety.
Maybe you’re one of the parents who recently dropped your freshman off at college. Or perhaps, as you scroll through these posts, you’re imagining what that day will look like for your own family a few years from now.
Either way, these moments offer an opportunity to reflect on the reality of parenting: our time with our children is limited.
We spend eighteen years raising our children, teaching valuable lessons and instilling values. Our days revolve around their schedules–carpools, sports practices, playdates, school events and other commitments. Successful parents raise children who feel confident about leaving and finding their own way in the world, and there is a sense of excitement about the experiences that lay ahead. But at the same time, it’s normal to experience sadness and uncertainty as life changes.
And there is so much to worry about:
Will my child make friends?
How will they navigate a large campus and get to class on time?
Will they remember to do their laundry?
How will they manage their lives independently without my help?
These questions are part of the emotional transition every parent faces as a child begins this new chapter.
While no college drop-off is ever completely easy, finding the right college—one where your child feels comfortable, supported and confident—can make the transition a little easier for everyone.
Whether I’m working with a client family or talking to a friend, I always stress the importance of finding the “best fit” college. College is not only where your child will live and learn for four years. Ideally, it is the place where they will experience self discovery, develop confidence, form lifelong friendships and take their first steps towards adulthood.
Pay attention to how your child feels when they visit a school. Can they see themselves on campus, making friends, attending classes and feeling comfortable seeking help when they need it? Consider the size and feel of the campus, the accessibility of professors and advisors, opportunities to get involved and available support services. Your child may notice things that you don’t, and their instincts about where they feel comfortable are valid and just as important as rankings or reputation.
Letting go is never easy. But finding that “best fit”—a place where your child feels comfortable and at home—can bring some comfort. Knowing you helped them find a college where they feel they belong, with opportunities to grow, discover themselves and thrive, can make that goodbye just a little easier.
How The College Spy Can Help
Our College List Building package is perfect for families who want to draw on our firsthand knowledge of colleges and our experience visiting more than 300 campuses to build a thoughtful, personalized college list. Email us at michelle@thecollegespy.com to schedule a consultation.
