The Campus Tour – Dos & Don'ts

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by Melissa Starrett

MIT with students walking into a building

In a previous blog post, I wrote about planning for your college visit. But what happens once you actually get there?

There's something about the energy you feel when you walk onto a college campus. If you're lucky enough to visit on a beautiful day, you'll find students walking to class, congregating in green spaces, throwing a football, studying or just relaxing with friends. There's a buzz that's hard to find anywhere else.

I have visited a lot of colleges, both as a parent and now as a College Spy.

As a college admissions consultant, it's all business. But as a parent? That's a very different experience.

From the moment I arrived for a tour as a prospective parent, I would find myself visualizing my son as a student there. Where would he spend his time? Would he find his people? Could I picture him walking across campus, heading to class or meeting friends for lunch?

That IS one of the purposes of a college visit.. It's an opportunity to imagine your child there and to absorb as much information as possible during your 60-minute tour. You want to love the school. You want your child to love the school.

I’ll admit it, I’ve been guilty of getting caught up in the excitement of visiting a school I liked. If you’re anything like me, before you know it, you're choosing a dorm and planning your first parents’ weekend. It is easy to get swept away and sometimes reigning in my enthusiasm (to leave space for my child to have his own reactions) was easier said than done.

Here are a few DOs and DON'Ts I’ve put together from my own experiences to help you make the most of your college visit without becoming that parent on the tour.

The DO's

  1. DO give your child some space. Encourage your child to walk near the front of the group, close to the tour guide. This is a great opportunity for some impromptu, casual conversation. It's okay to hang back. You don’t need to walk right beside your child for the entire tour.
  2. DO take on the role of campus photographer. Let your child focus on the experience, not their phone. These photos will come in handy later when you can't remember details of all of the campuses you have visited.
  3. DO wear comfortable shoes and be prepared to walk A LOT.
  4. DO let your child take the lead. Encourage your child to ask questions about the things that matter to THEM.

The DON'Ts

  1. DON'T interrogate the tour guide. One of my colleagues offers this advice: “Don't be more memorable than your child.” This says it all. Of course it’s okay to ask questions but don’t dominate the conversation. You can always follow up at the admissions office after your tour.
  2. DON'T inspect the dorms as if you're purchasing a second home. We all want our children to be comfortable, and dorms DO matter. But the reality is that the room will likely be small and not measure up to your child’s current living situation. Additionally, don’t make statements about how “fabulous” the dorms were at the college you visited two weeks ago and how shabby these are.
  3. DON'T compare this college to every other college while you're on the tour. It is absolutely normal and okay to be keeping a mental list of your favorite schools. But there's no need to share out loud!
  4. DON'T expect your child to make a decision that day. Luckily, you have the return car ride—and a captive audience! This is a great time to ask what stood out, what surprised them and what they’d like to know more about. But resist the urge to pressure them for a decision or turn the ride home into an interrogation. Encourage your child to think about and process the visit in their own time. The Talking College Campus Visits card deck has a section for debriefing the college visit that can guide these conversations. Get yours here.

A final thought

There really is something special about stepping onto a campus with your soon-to-be college freshman. It can be an experience that feels full of possibilities and excitement. Take advantage of your time on campus; eat in the dining hall, visit the bookstore and buy a sweatshirt. Soak up all the information available.

The college visit is a vital part of your child’s journey. It’s an opportunity to look beyond the guides and websites and help your child find a place where they can truly picture themselves living, learning and growing over the next four years.

So grab your best walking shoes, check your calendar and start planning!

How The College Spy Can Help

Not sure where to visit first? Our College List Building package is a “mini package” that culminates in a college list. Reach out to Michelle McAnaney for more information: michelle@thecollegespy.com

You can also find the Talking College Campus Visits Card Deck on Amazon.