5 Lessons I’ve Learned in my Journey from Parent to College Admissions Consultant

By Melissa Starrett

Melissa starrett visits University of vermont

Ten years ago, I was where many of you are today. My oldest son was headed into his junior year and suddenly the college process was looming ahead of us. I was feeling a mix of emotions;  including excitement, sadness, confusion, and a lot of anxiety. My only experience applying to college was back in the 1980s when I submitted my handwritten applications by mail. I felt completely clueless.

When the opportunity to be one of The College Spy’s first client families was offered to us, I immediately accepted. A few years later, when my younger son started the college search we turned to Michelle again. With her guidance, support and knowledge, both of my sons ended up at colleges that were right for them.

Years later, I embarked on an encore career as a college admissions consultant working for The College Spy. My own experiences have deepened my understanding of the many challenges parents face at different phases of this often overwhelming process. In this new role, I have gained a different perspective and sometimes think about what I wish I knew that summer before junior year years ago.

Everyone will want to give you advice.

As soon as you mention that your family is in the throes of this process, you will find yourself surrounded by experts who will offer thoughts on rankings and strong opinions about where your child "should" go. Try not to pay too much attention to the “noise”. Do your own research and form your own opinions. Just because someone else doesn’t think a school is “worthy” doesn’t mean that it’s not right for YOUR kid.

This is your child’s journey.

It's natural to envision what your child's college experience might look like. Perhaps you love the idea of a school with a big Greek system and D1 football team, but soon find out your child prefers a small, liberal arts college. Parents and children often discover they have different perspectives or opinions. It can be challenging to keep our personal opinions separate. It’s important to set aside time to talk and listen to your child as they share their personal criteria. At the end of the day, this is their journey, and sometimes the school you least expected ends up being the perfect fit.

At times, this process will cause you tremendous stress.

Your teen is being asked to make HUGE life decisions and may not feel 100% ready to make them. Most students change their mind about schools, majors and other criteria MANY times and this is a normal part of the process. Listen to your child. Go on tours together, ask questions and respect their answers. If a school doesn’t “feel right” it's okay to take it off the list!

Don’t dismiss the lesser name schools or hidden gem colleges.

In my first meetings with families, I always talk about the importance of being open minded. There are so many exceptional colleges and many don’t get the attention they deserve. Any good consultant you work with should prioritize finding the school where your child will be happy, challenged and thrive academically and socially. The best college isn’t necessarily the most well known, it's the best fit for YOUR child.

It all works out in the end.

Remember those sleepless nights when you thought your child  would never sleep for more than a few hours? Or the times when you worried they would never learn to read? Just like many other milestones, things have a way of working themselves out. There will likely be plot twists and there will definitely be emotional highs & lows. It won’t always be easy. Trust the process, support your child and enjoy the journey together. 

How The College Spy Can Help

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We would love to help your student understand the current admissions landscape, build a college list and write their college essays. Check out our packages for individuals and group workshops on our website: www.thecollegespy.com